If you don’t like foul language STOP HERE….

Over the past month, I have been having a serious recurring case of the “Fuck It”‘s. And, if you’re wondering, I almost had a case crop up for the blog post today. But, Fuck it, I’m going to write something anyway. When I decided to commit to this daily exercise I did so for this very reason. I have known for some years now that I have lacked some form of a daily creative discipline. Writing everyday, from what I understand, is not something that just happens automatically. Duh. You have to work at it. But, sometimes, I just don’t feel like putting in the work. There, Fuck it, I said it. I’m lazy sometimes.

But, there’s a deeper issue that I thought keeping a daily blog would address. And, that is the urge to give up in general. And, in some cases, to not ever start in the first place because…well…Fuck it. Things that I want to achieve, or strive for, become too hard. My mind instead of telling me to take a break, find a new solution, reevaluate my goal, or whatever just says, “NO! JUST GIVE UP PLEASE!!!!”

I have suffered from this condition since my early teens. Of course, I haven’t always acted on the “Fuck It” voices. I actually rarely have completely thrown in the towel on things if I have gotten them started in the first place. However, just because you don’t give up doesn’t mean you’re achieving things in a healthy way. Running yourself ragged, giving yourself insomnia because of chronic sleep deprivation, making yourself manic with anxiety, having no down time…these are all crappy ways to live a daily life. Sometimes giving something your all actually depletes all you have to give. In my experience, with life there is always going to be something else to deal with. So, I prefer to not set myself up for failure.

I just have to continually know that I am going to have days when I really just want to not get out of bed, throw in the towel, and say “FUCK IT!” And, when that happens, I can initially make two choices:

  1. Say “Fuck It”.
  2. Shut up and show up.

Nowadays, I prefer #2. Once I make that choice, it usually helps to talk to someone about why I was considering giving up in the first place. Learning to say “Fuck It” to the unimportant things and the unhealthy anxieties in my life was a very important lesson for me as a person.

But, as with most things, that “Fuck It” attitude can sometimes get in the way of the most meaningful and important things in my life too. Double-edged sword and what not. That is when I need to be very careful, very aware, and talk to someone else.

If you are experiencing a really serious “Fuck It” attitude towards everything in your life, seek professional help. There’s no shame in it, there’s just solutions.