Today, one of the closest friends I have in my life moved away to St. Louis. It’s been a bittersweet experience that I don’t think I have fully processed through. I guess the processing happens in the process.
I am actually excited for him. The move is going to be hard, but positive for him in a variety of ways. I’m looking forward to seeing how this sets up my buddy for growth. And, we’ve got a plan in place to have a weekly video call. So, though we will be far away in distance, we are going to be staying close in contact.
Regardless of our contingency plans though, our ability to hangout is going to be shifting. I will not be able to randomly call my buddy to grab a cup of coffee. We won’t be able to go catch a movie at the last minute when I need some quality time out of the house. Things are going to change. It’s neither good nor bad, it just is.
At first, I was worried for him. He is going to be taking on new responsibilities and burdens where he is moving to. Then, I worried for myself. He has been a huge part of my support system for years now. We will continue to be there for each other, but the inevitable fears of our friendship fading or changing have surfaced a lot lately for me.
So, what should I do when these fears rise up in me? I look at my past experiences, and what I know to be “my truth”. Here’s the thing I’ve found about real friends: They never really go away. Even if you spend years apart, with little to no contact, you can usually pick up pretty quickly once you see each other again.
Friends keep me in check…
Last night, we hung out at my house with our group of friends and his family for his last night in town. We talked about things from the past, current things, and what is in store for the future. Wow, that makes it sound a lot more boring and stuffy than it was. All of that “talk” happened around us playing music, having a HUGE spread of amazing food, hanging on the porch, and playing Cards Against Humanity.
I had a realization this morning as I was reviewing the night before. Much of our conversations revolved around the way things had been, how they had improved, and our hope that things only get better from here. My friends keep me really centered in a healthy place of awareness and self-actualization. Those are things I need on a very consistent basis.
So, if you’re a friend of mine, no matter how often we see each other, know that you provide me a very vital service anytime I do see you. Thank you. But, also know that you probably provide that to every friend you have, whether they know it or not.