“Malicious Envy (Latin, invidia), like greed and lust, is characterized by an insatiable desire. Malicious envy is similar to jealousy in that they both feel discontent towards someone’s traits, status, abilities, or rewards. A difference is that the envious also desire the entity and covet it; another difference is that envy is the evil/malicious form of jealousy, while jealousy may or may not be benign/righteous.”
Every time I have felt envious of someone else for something, it’s because they had something I wanted but hadn’t tried hard enough to get. But, I never get that shitty feeling if I know that I’m trying my hardest at what I’m doing. That tells me envy is just a way for me to know I got some shit to work on.
In that definition, it points out that jealousy may or may not be righteous. In a way, that’s a relief I guess. Jealousy, in some ways, can be motivational. Seeing what you want from other people more clearly defines the image of your goal. It doesn’t mean that you need exactly what they have. In that way, you can be jealous of someone, and let them inspire you to success.
But, jealousy is also a pretty narrow tight rope for me to walk, so I try not to wade in those waters too often. I start going down a deep hole of negative self comparisons, judgments, and put downs if I do.
Instead, I focus on admiration. When I encounter people that have things I want, I examine the qualities of personality that they possess. I ask myself where I can make room for improvement in these areas. Then I makes goals and plans to make those improvements happen. To me, this is the only lesson that I can make any use of for myself.